So obviously I have been really horrible about posting pictures. I mean I often (not always but often) take them but I can't seem to find the time to get them online. So in the meantime I thought I would just write a plain blog entry.
I feel like my world is running at top speed and it is making me dizzy.
First school has started again, that means I am back to taking classes. Homework, stress, other type of stress, getting to school on time, making teachers like you and so on and so forth. This quarter I am really stressed that I will do poorly again like I did in spring quarter. My favorite teacher tells me she has faith that I will do fine. Unfortunately this doesn't seem to help - really just one more person to let down. Maybe I will be fine - maybe I will invoke my back-up plan. Either way I worries me.
Then one of my first crushes is getting married. I know I should not admit this but still, when I found out I was very surprised. No, there are no more feelings like that, just the "wow, I can't believe we've reached that age" The notion, or thought, or something has been sitting at the back of my mind. Like those little flashes of light you see out of the corner of your eye when you are not looking.
Then my good friend is moving to the east coast. I know that we are all adults now, and we call all get on a plane a visit, and thank the Lord for facebook and chat to stay in contact with, but I am still going to miss him. I don't get attached to people very quickly. And most people I don't get attached to at all, but I still feel strangely sad. It is like one more flash of light on the edge of my vision.
Finally you add in thinking of trying to come up with Christmas presents, thinking of going down and visiting Cal Poly - most honestly to see the teacher mentioned above, a book I am reading is really sticking with me, and life with the goats and I feel like I am going to be a twitchy person soon.
Maybe when this all passes and it is all a distant memory I will laugh at how easy my life was but boy the forest seems thick now.
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